My boyfriend becomes distant after we have been intimate
My BF is driving me crazy with his mixed signals. We spend a lot of fun time together and just as we seem to be getting closer in our relationship, he suddenly shuts down and says he needs some time alone. I am always disappointed as I get my hopes up that the relationship is finally going towards commitment, but he suddenly acts like he is afraid and does not want to see or even talk to me until I have given up and left him alone. Then he comes back and we start all over again until we get really close and intimate and bam he pulls away again. Why does he do this? am I doing something wrong?
He is doing the get close and then pull away, relationship dance. When he does his pulling away, just give him his space and keep yourself busy until he contacts you on his own. Never appear to pursue him, especially after you have had a intense or intimate moment.
I know you want to be close to him after these times, but he needs time to emotionally process these things and then to miss you. So he will stay away for awhile, but then rest assured that if you give him the space and time he needs, he will be back. Men do not process emotions the same way that women do. It takes them much longer and they are not always as in touch with their feelings even though it is their emotions they are reacting to. They often feel fear when they become close to a woman and commitment is expected, so they need to pull back and process. They need to really miss you to realize that they love you.
That is just the way his mind works....
Men, sigh... They can be so aggravating sometimes..