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My Lesbian Lover Rejected Me Because Her Family Did Not Approve

My Lesbian Lover Rejected Me Because Her Family Disapproved.

Here is one from my free psychic question email. I always remove names and birthdates or any other information that may identify the individual sending it.

I am female and the person I love fell in love with is also female.
. We fell in love even though we felt like we had no future. She told me her feelings for me first and how much she loved me, but I didn’t confess my feelings for her until later. I was scared and wanted to be sure of what I was feeling.
I also wanted to make sure we kept it a secret. Or, at least in the beginning.

So we kept it between ourselves.
We said we would try to make it work even if our families found out and didn't agree. We decided we could make it work.

Then her father got ill he went into the hospital for an operation and her circumstances changed. She felt like she couldn't continue our relationship
anymore and said that it had to end.

She said she couldn’t offer me anything. We argued a lot about this. Out of anger I said “just tell your family and stop with the lies”. I was angry at the time and didn't mean it. But every time this subject would come up I would say it. I should of let it go. She tried to apologize, but I was stubborn as I was hurt because she told me all this by text.

I understand that she had to go through a lot and it must have been very hard on
her family. She finally told her family about us and it caused a big issue with them.

She tried to offer me friendship instead to keep the peace with her family, but I refused. I found it too difficult to be just her friend.

I was hurt and angry when she informed me that she told her family that it was all a mistake and she would end it with me.

After everything we had been through. The girl who use to say how much she loved me and was so attracted to me, was saying that she thought she loved me
Was now saying that she couldn't offer me anything. She told me that she couldn't or didn’t want to be with me.

I know that when we were arguing I said things I didn't mean. I was hurt
and angry. I said things to let out the pain, but it only made it worse.
I was hurting her, which meant it hurt me. She became so distant. We
argued many times after this.

It's been over 3 months since we went our
separate ways. I tried to contact her but she blocked me on her phone and cut off all contact with me. I tried to see her and she refused to talk to me or want to
talk about it. She just avoided it completely. I asked her if she was still
angry with me she said yes. She also said it would be even hard to
be friends because of her family.

I know that her family will not want her to make any contact with me. It’s against her family beliefs. Not only hers but my family too. My family still doesn't know. I was willing to try to make things work with both our families so that eventually both families could accept us as long as we were both committed to each other.
But if my family didn’t accept her and I being together, I would still choose to be with her.

I went to see her 3 times in early march. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop trying to see her, to stop trying to make it work, she said “yes” and she just left.

I feel like I have lost her completely. I know that she is very stubborn and she gives a lot of importance to her family and their happiness, that she doesn’t want to let them down as she feels others in the family have let them down and she is the youngest.

I believe she is my soul mate, my best friend. We were friends before we fell in love. I'm confused as to what I should do because everything I have tried has failed. She told me on the phone that she thought she loved me. But then after she told her family about me, she told me she didn’t love me. And when I saw her recently she said for me to leave her alone that she wants nothing to do with me but was crying. I asked her “So why
are you crying?” She said your scaring me because you are obsessive.

Why would she say this? It's not like I have been trying to see her day and night. I have attempted to speak to her 3 or 4 times so I could apologize and we could work things through. I even gave her present that I had kept for as a surprise.
Even though we weren’t talking I still wanted her to have it. But she was
crying and just didn’t want anything to do with me. It was like I was a complete
stranger to her.

She has also said I didn’t respect her needs of backing off when she needed me to. I texted her a lot and her parents questioned who was texting her. She found it hard to cover up. I apologized for that and explained that I didn’t understand but she didn’t want to hear it. She also said that we don’t work well together we always argue
She said I would let her down some way or the other. But I know that our arguments were based on the fact that we were not a couple and it was a secret.

When she started saying things like it had to end our disagreements got worse. In the beginning we wouldn’t talk about it ending. We would just talk for hours and spend time together. She used to say that I made her so happy.

I am lost confused and broken by all this. I feel like I have
lost her forever and pushed her further away. I have tried everything I can
and it's all failed.

I want her back in my life. I don't know if she ever loved me or if she still
has feelings for me. I am so confused I don’t know what to do. Are you able to
read what she is currently feeling for me? If she still has feelings for me?
What is stopping her from talking to me? Will we be able to reconcile? I believe
she is my true soul mate. If she is happy and doesn’t feel anything for me at
least I will know and I will at least know she is happy and is doing ok.

Answer:

She does still have feelings for you, which is why she was crying. But the arguments and the pressure you put on her have done some serious damage to your relationship. I do not feel she will come back to your anytime soon. But if you give her some space, in time, she may speak to you again as friend.

This will only happen if you give her some space and leave her alone completely for at least nine months. She values her family’s opinion and you have not respected that. As unfair as it is, her family has a big influence on her and your insistence that she tell them you two were in a relationship destroyed what you had.

I realize how difficult this is for you, and how much you miss her. But the only way to reconcile is if you stop trying to control the situation.

The truth is your anger and need to be in control has damaged this relationship to the point where if you continue, it will be beyond repair.

If you give her space and learn to let go of control, in time she may speak to you again as a friend. But you must show her you have changed
by controlling your behavior towards her and respecting her boundaries. By letting her know that you were wrong to expect her to divulge your relationship to her family and that your extreme pursuit of her and all your texts were way out of bounds and that you will never do that t her again. But again, after all the drama that has been crated by your pursuit, you must give her at least nine months of silence first.

This is the only way this relationship can work out and you can have her back. However, I cannot guarantee that she will come back again as so much damage has been done. Remember, the more you try to control your lover, the more you are likely to loose them.

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