My long term boyfriend broke up with me, but still wants to hang out
I get a lot of email about ex's who still want to be friends and the confusion it causes in my free psychic question email.
My ex who I was with for three years broke up with me three months ago, but he is always wanting to hang out with me. Why? Is he wanting to get back together?
How this turns out has more than one possibility depending on how you handle the situation now. He still wants you in his life, but he just hasn't decided on what terms.
He wants you there because he does care for you and you are familiar and safe.
But he still wants the opportunity to go places without you and feel what it is like to be single.
So the closeness you had in terms of the amount of time spent together is going to change.
Prepare for this change by having other people in your life to fill the void he has left in yours.
He will want to be with you more if you do not appear needy, or emotionally dependent. Let him be the one who is, not you.
If you are too solicitous of his attention he will respect you less.
For him, the point of this separation was to grow as an independent adult. However, he is more emotionally calm when with you, so you will spend some time with him.
Just do not push for you two to reunite he will pull away if you do. It needs to be his idea
Start to be independent and look fro ways to go out and socialize independent of him.
This will make him worry that he may loose you to another. He will also respect you more for your independance.
The point here is that he will spend more time in your life if you are more independent of him.
If you try to cling to him, he will pull away more.
So the question here is, do have the courage to create a life independent of him in order to win him back?
I do see three possibilities here with the future of you two. One is that you push him to come back to you right away when he is not ready to do so and he pulls away more. So you are friends but at more of a distance.
The second is that you can face the fact that you will be on your own for awhile and start to find fun things to do independently of him and when you speak let him know about it.
In this case, he will find you a bit more interesting . As long as you do not push him, he will want to do some of those things with you. He will also be jealous of other guys.
You two can become good and life long friends. But I feel that it will possibly be more, just longer down the line than you had hoped. He will want to settle down much later on than you do, because not matter what you do, he will still need time to get the wanderlust out of his soul.
Or you can not call, text or try to contact him until he contacts you, give it some space and not try to control him or the relationship in any way, You can wait him out knowing that he is in no rush to completely cut you from his life, that he is not ready to jump into another relationship. That as long as he is in this stage, you will still be the closest woman, emotionally, in his life, then you might find that he stays close to you. He will date another girl or two but always comes back to you for true closeness and friendship. In this scenario I see a lot of ups and downs but as long as your respect yourself more that you respect him:), Then you may find he wants to marry you in the long run. But for this to happen, first you must let go of him completely. When you do this, he will start to want to spend more time with you. You must also be open to relationships with other guys. He will not respect you if you wait around for him. If you wait around for him, he will feel guilty and pull away from you more.
You do still have control of the outcome, you can still make a choice of what action to take for this situation to turn out in your favor. But it is up to you.
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