“The Three- Ring Circuses We Build: The on Again off Relationship
“I might just text you
Turn your phone over, when it’s all over
No settling down, my text go to your screen
You know better than that
I come around when you least expect me
I’m sitting at the bar when your glass is empty
You thinking that the songs coming on to tempt me
I need to be alone like the way you left me
You start calling, you start crying
I come over, I’m inside you
I can’t find you
The girl that I once had
But the sex that we have, isn’t half bad”-Childish Gambino, “Heartbeat”
The gifted actor, writer, and musician, “Childish Gambino” has a few lessons to teach about dynamics of the on again off again relationship.
Gambino shows us that the lure of the on again off again relationship is its power of unpredictability, passion, and the potential of what could be. Let’s also not forget, the hot sex.
There are currently millions of souls out there currently involved in one of these relationships. It is not for the faint of heart. However, it is the excitement and cheap thrills that keeps many on again off again junkies coming back for more. Also, let me emphasize the potential for what could be is what keeps us spellbound. For better or worse, this could turn into the greatest love story of our lives or it could destroy us, pick your poison.
Hi, my name is Lucy and I am on again off again junkie, nice to meet you.
For myself, every time I reunite with my on again off again is like taking a bite from the apple in the Garden of Eden and getting kicked from the heavens and back into a three-ring circus complete with clowns, acrobats, and me working as the lion tamer.
It remains to be seen if this time, I will end the year long three-ring circus I have created with my former lover. Our act is currently on hiatus.
The unfortunate thing about the on again off again is it does not discriminate- it can happen to anyone. The lure of the lights, sounds, and delights can bring in even the most discerning of daters to their knees.
When the circus my lover and I built is currently running through town, it is all that you could expect and then some. It is part fantasy and part reality. This is the exact reason why it keeps falling apart. Neither of us can seem to decipher what is real and what is illusion.
I exited the stage because I fell in love with the fantasy of him and not the actual person.
I am working through it. He’s super pissed, but I have told him way worse. That is the problem with the on again and off again: it thrives on high drama due to its lack of stability and grounding. It truly feeds off of its castles in the sky.
When the circus is on break, people in on again off again relationships often become freaks in their freak show and say:
“Is she/he gone forever?”
They do rookie mistakes of texting/calling/emailing their disappearing acts like crazy.
You need to understand, the on again off again relationship is part fictional story, so you must envelope yourself in fantasy. You have to blaze trails and write another story. If your other act does not have smarts or sense to join you on this crazy ride called life, let the cards lie where they need to, seriously.
Also, for us junkies that have been in the game for a while, we know the answer for “will he/she be back?” the answer is always:
“Yes, now go smoke a cig.”
So while they are away. You need to be building other circus acts, your very own.
These are actually much more fun. I like to call them my lovely little circuses.
This is where I get to say:
“Hi my name is Lucy Keiko Tambara, so nice to meet you! I am a single female writer who likes to wear pink chucks and play my pink acoustic guitar on the beaches of Venice. This act might not be to your liking but that’s okay because its works just right for me. Sorry, I have to dip from this act for a bit. I can’t guarantee I will back with the same guy or even acts; but when I do resurface, you will be delighted, entertained, and enthralled.”
(The lights go out and Lucy exits the stage.)
If you need help getting off the roller coaster ride of the on again off again relationship get your free psychic reading.
-By: Lucy Tambara