We were so close for three months, now he pulls away
Relationships develop in stages. In the first three months you are in the infatuation stage, or the honeymoon stage when everything looks rosy and you both are focusing on the good things about each other.
After about three months you both may notice those little things that may be questionable or annoying about each other. This is when some decide if you want to continue on with this relationship or not.
I find that most romantic relationships tend to face some change every three months. This is when a new cycle starts and an old one ends.
The cycles in relationships run like this.
First three months, the infatuation phase, the honeymoon period. You are all gaga over each other. You see each other through rose colored glasses and all those things you will eventually find annoying about your partner, you just find cute.
This is the lovey, cuddly stage. The relationship is too new for you to really know any of the negatives about this person and everything is so great you don't see how things could ever go wrong.
The next three months, can be either the reality check where breakups often happen, or a time when the cuddly phase continues as you also find more common ground for compatibility between the two of you.
Then you hit what some call the six month bump. This is when relationships start to have "issues" This is when the first minor arguments start.
If the relationship is not based on solid compatibility then this is when most relationships end.
This is the time when you decide if you really want to stay in this or not. When you start to see the negatives in each other and decide if you can live with them. If however, you both have good communication with each other, the the reality check of the six month period can actually be a good thing. You will learn to accept each other in a more realistic way and learn how to communicate with your partner when conflict inevitably arises. You will also use this time to set your personal boundaries and learn those of your partner.
How things are handles in this six month period can determine how you two relate to each other and deal with conflicts through the rest of the relationship. This is a make or break period. Just as the first three months can be a point of breaking up or continuing, the six month period is the reality check time in the relationship and how it is handled will determine if your relationship has staying power or not.
Learning to communicate using a calm tone of voice and without belittling your partner is advised here. If you find that your once luvy dovey lover is now referring to you in a negative way, or using an uncomfortable tone of voice with you, you may want to reconsider the relationship as this is the time when that sort behavior starts to raise it's ugly head. Chances are that if that is the way your partner speaks to you in this phase of the relationship, that is the way you will be spoken to during the length of the relationship.
this behavior is rarely broken and screaming at your partner will not change it.
Conversely, if your partner shows good problem solving skills during this part of the relationship, in which the tone of the conversation is maintained at a level that is meant to be diplomatic, you just might have a keeper. Better yet, if you are able to manage conflict in a rational, calm and fair manner yourself,you just might be a keeper as well:)