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The on Again off Again Relationship

“The Three- Ring Circuses We Build: The on Again off Relationship

“I might just text you
Turn your phone over, when it’s all over
No settling down, my text go to your screen
You know better than that
I come around when you least expect me
I’m sitting at the bar when your glass is empty
You thinking that the songs coming on to tempt me
I need to be alone like the way you left me
You start calling, you start crying
I come over, I’m inside you
I can’t find you
The girl that I once had
But the sex that we have, isn’t half bad”-Childish Gambino, “Heartbeat”

The gifted actor, writer, and musician, “Childish Gambino” has a few lessons to teach about dynamics of the on again off again relationship.
Gambino shows us that the lure of the on again off again relationship is its power of unpredictability, passion, and the potential of what could be. Let’s also not forget, the hot sex.
There are currently millions of souls out there currently involved in one of these relationships. It is not for the faint of heart. However, it is the excitement and cheap thrills that keeps many on again off again junkies coming back for more. Also, let me emphasize the potential for what could be is what keeps us spellbound. For better or worse, this could turn into the greatest love story of our lives or it could destroy us, pick your poison.

Hi, my name is Lucy and I am on again off again junkie, nice to meet you.
For myself, every time I reunite with my on again off again is like taking a bite from the apple in the Garden of Eden and getting kicked from the heavens and back into a three-ring circus complete with clowns, acrobats, and me working as the lion tamer.
It remains to be seen if this time, I will end the year long three-ring circus I have created with my former lover. Our act is currently on hiatus.
The unfortunate thing about the on again off again is it does not discriminate- it can happen to anyone. The lure of the lights, sounds, and delights can bring in even the most discerning of daters to their knees.
When the circus my lover and I built is currently running through town, it is all that you could expect and then some. It is part fantasy and part reality. This is the exact reason why it keeps falling apart. Neither of us can seem to decipher what is real and what is illusion.
I exited the stage because I fell in love with the fantasy of him and not the actual person.
Ouch.
I am working through it. He’s super pissed, but I have told him way worse. That is the problem with the on again and off again: it thrives on high drama due to its lack of stability and grounding. It truly feeds off of its castles in the sky.
When the circus is on break, people in on again off again relationships often become freaks in their freak show and say:
“Is she/he gone forever?”
They do rookie mistakes of texting/calling/emailing their disappearing acts like crazy.
You need to understand, the on again off again relationship is part fictional story, so you must envelope yourself in fantasy. You have to blaze trails and write another story. If your other act does not have smarts or sense to join you on this crazy ride called life, let the cards lie where they need to, seriously.
Also, for us junkies that have been in the game for a while, we know the answer for “will he/she be back?” the answer is always:
“Yes, now go smoke a cig.”
So while they are away. You need to be building other circus acts, your very own.
These are actually much more fun. I like to call them my lovely little circuses.
This is where I get to say:
“Hi my name is Lucy Keiko Tambara, so nice to meet you! I am a single female writer who likes to wear pink chucks and play my pink acoustic guitar on the beaches of Venice. This act might not be to your liking but that’s okay because its works just right for me. Sorry, I have to dip from this act for a bit. I can’t guarantee I will back with the same guy or even acts; but when I do resurface, you will be delighted, entertained, and enthralled.”
(The lights go out and Lucy exits the stage.)

If you need help getting off the roller coaster ride of the on again off again relationship get your free psychic reading.

-By: Lucy Tambara

Tools of Healing Falling from the Heavens

Tools of Healing Falling from the Heavens, Guest blog by Lucy Tambara.

When I was a graduate student at Indiana University, Bloomington, a Tibetan singing bowl found its way to me.
My close friend, who worked as a reki healer, gave me the bowl as a birthday gift.
He explained to me that Tibetan singing bowls are always given as a gift. He tuned my bowl to my energy vibrations and targeted the third eye chakra. His said the bowl would help me to be become more at ease with the fact that I was a sensitive and intuitive.
Meditating with a singing bowl is an intense experience. As you become more experienced with your bowl, you find that it instantly opens up the chakras and memories that you suppressed.
I also call singing bowls the Advil of new age healing. I have used the bowls to ease menstrual cramps and headaches. They also come in and quickly work towards improving your state of mind.
Singing bowls are a great for people that are tuned into vibrations as a form of healing. As a person who plays the guitar the tremors of the chords affect me immensely. So musicians out there struggling with their creative demons may find the singing bowl to be of immense help.
One freaky issue with the singing bowls is that if you are a sensitive, the strong vibrations accelerate healing and you will be prone to intense exhaustion during your time with your bowl.
When I received my bowl, I was going through a time of major shifts. I left my boyfriend of a year, and I was living a thousand miles away from home.
The minute that I started using the bowl, I hit very dark places. But, I knew I had to face the darkness in order to move towards the next chapter of my life. Singing bowls are not for the faint of heart. They will challenge you. They force you to see parts of yourself that you may not want to see. But, with deep meditation and a little faith, you will overcome this.
I remained committed to my practice and healing. I believe it was because of my singing bowl.
I was able to let go of my ex within a short amount of time and have the strength to make positive changes in my life. I finally got the guts to travel around the world. I moved to San Juan, Puerto Rico for six month on a whim. I believe the clarity I received from the singing bowl facilitated this major life change.
I no longer own my singing bowl. I actually lost it while I was moving from Indiana back to Los Angeles.
But, I also felt I no longer needed it. The bowl would find itself a new owner who needed guidance and a way out of the darkness.
So, while you can easily buy a singing bowl on EBay. They are quite pricey. I believe these tools we use for energy healing appear in our life when we really need them. This thanks to the cosmos. Perhaps I will need another bowl in the future. If I do, I will pray silently and wait for one to reappear.
Lots of people spend hundreds of dollars every year on pendulums, amethyst necklaces, and other tools for energy work. I have always found that these tools literally fall from the sky in the form of gifts. I have always believed that my free-will will lead me down the paths I need to be.
By: Lucy Tambara

To read more of Lucy Tambara’s writings go to http://www. hipsterandthecity.wordpress.com

The Science and Mysticism of Love

I cannot count how many times people asked me" where is my soulmate, when am I going to find love?"  Yet the real question from a psychic's point of view is not about when but about how. Not only that, but once you have found love, how to keep it intact.This is a very complex issue as men and women are very different in the way they think and the way they approach relationships. Hence, misunderstandings are frequent as are disappointments.

When two people come together and feel a sense  of great chemistry, it is like a magnet that pulls you together with an almost irresistible  sense of euphoria. This is what creates the initial connection to soul, energy and brain chemistry. People can become addicted to each other which is nature's way of keeping couples together so that families will be created.

The issues arise when expectations come to play. Women are biologically created to want security. Man has evolved as a hunter to go out pursue, achieve, and bring back his prize. This is a big part of his mental makeup. So sometimes he does not always have time to meet the woman's expectations of nurturing, love, sex and affection. Because he, being that male who has the hunter instinct, is out trying to achieve, fix, win or create something as evolution has taught him to do so as a man. For a man, choosing a mate means choosing one who can support him in his efforts to be the best possible man he can be. He needs to feel appreciated, respected and supported by his partner. Women on the other hand need to feel loved and valued. She needs reassurance that he is thinking of her, giving her his time, expresing to her that he values her.

Relationships have a way of running in cycles the first is the honeymoon phase where you become attached. This usually lasts about three months. Then comes the questioning phase where one starts to see the little flaws and wonders if this relationship is the right one for them. If the relationship last through the third month it can go smoothly if it passes through the power struggle phase that often happens between the fourth and sixth month of the relationship.

The power struggle phase is where a couple learns how to  either work together on those issues where one may want something that another does not.Or when one misunderstands the wan ts and needs of their partner. This is where the arguments begin. And here is where all the attachments, all the psychic cords that  are now connecting the two of you, and all of the love chemicals in your brain that make you feel so  happy in the good moments, can make you miserable if you don't learn how to communicate your wants, desires, disappointments and expectations in a healthy manner. For if you do not, and chaos ensues  the same intensity of joy and happiness you felt in the beginning of the relationship can rapidly turn to pain.

Women often become confused when the man puts his achievements as a priority over her need to feel validated and listen to, because often  women simply need someone to vent to, to make them fill validated. The problem often arises when men simply perceive this is as whining. So  they try to fix it. Hence the drama begins. She will say he is not listening to her. He willl  become frustrated because he is trying to resolve her issue but for some reason he feels she will not let him and he percieves her emoting as chronic complaining. This has led to many conflicts between couples that have left them both completely confused.

Women often become dissapointed because they want a man who will be with her all the time, making plans with her, while the man is out making plans of his own, sometimes focused on his achievments, which he expects the woman to be proud of once he has acomplished his goals and returned to her. When the woman complains that he is "not there for her enlough" the man often becomes mystified. In his mind he does not understand why she does not appreciate all he does to make a better life, to reach his goals. And unfortunately, if the woman complains too much, he will pull away and find activities and entertainment elsewhere away from her whining. Whereas the woman, if she feels she is not getting the attention she needs, may also find it elsewhere. As nothing hurts a woman quite so much as being consistantly left alone by her man without the comunication of making plans that are kept.The resolution in this situation is for a woman to have her own social life apart from her lover, so she has companionship, and for the man to learn to communicate his plans in advance. For some this would just make comon sense, but you would be suprised how many times I have heard and expeienced the former and how it led to the end of the relationship.

So here is  where I offer you a solid bit of wisdom when it comes to those bumps in the road and an argument is about to ensue. First of all, always watch the tone of your voice. Even if your partner is screaming at the top of theirs, lower your voice to a gentler level. You'll be amazed how easily this calms the situation down. Secondly, calmly and gently use feeling  phrases. Say things such as "this makes me feel unappreciated"  or this makes me "feel as if my wants and needs are not being taken into account." Always  make sure your partner knows that you still care about them, and validate their want and desires by admitting that they may have reasons for wanting their way as well. Relationships are all about compromise and compromise is an artform in itself.

Never use insulting phrases or put down your partner. Remember, people don't always remember what you say, but they will always remember how you  made them feel. Relationships are about working together as partners and supporting one another. When disagreements ensue and they always do,  learning how to argue in a fair and compassionate way can often strengthen a relationship and builds a stronger bond between the two of you. Understanding and continuing to show love and support during times of difficulty is what creates healthy relationships.

And lastly, most importantly, love is about how you make someone FEEL. Be gentle with your lovers emotions. If they can recriprocate and show how they value you and the relationship,even when you disagree, well then you have found a keeper.

 

 

Simple, quick evening meditation for positive manifestation.

Simple, quick evening meditation for positive manifestation.

 

We all encounter negativity on a daily basis and sometimes it hits us in our Chi, or life energy. We often feel the pain in our gut or heart. Sometimes we carry thoughts and negative experiences from the past that we feel we simply cannot let go of. I have a way that I deal with this, and if you learn to use it every evening just a few minutes before bed, you'll become more relaxed and calm and find that using positive thoughts and energy comes to you naturally.

 

All I do is focus on my heart and belly chakra, and think about the best aspects of myself, what I like about myself. Then hold my hand over what area I am focusing on and feel the energy, the life energy swirling through my heart and my belly in between my hands and I charge it with the positive thoughts of who I am that is good, what I want to be that will make me better, what it is a wish to manifest in my life, and how I plan to bring it in.

 

I push away all the negativity that others have put on me by visualizing the pain that I have felt from the day, from others, from the past and actually pushing it out with my Chi energy and filling that place with the good things that I will into my life.

 

It works! But you must do it on a regular basis and you must focus on what it is you want what you plan to achieve and focus on feeling and creating that energy. If you do this, you will eventually feel the energy, if you do not feel it immediately.

 

We are all connected by a life force. We are all conduits of that life force. Some of us are more sensitive and receptive to it than others, but we can all learn how to use it.

 

Sorry for the break here, but to make Google happy I have to write the words free psychic reading in this part of the page.  OK, now you can go with the article

 

Once you have become in tune with your energies, you will find it interesting to note that all people have a different frequency in which they vibrate. By just doing this a few minutes every night you will be able to sense these frequencies and change them to match what you want to feel, and who you want to be.

 

Albert Einstein said that everything is made up of energy and that in the physical worlds is simply energy vibrating at a very low frequency. So we can only perceive that which vibrates on a low frequency. He also said that which vibrates on the low frequency of the physical realm makes up a very, very small percentage of the actual energy that our universe consists of

 

So you see, once we learn to sense the other energies around us that are vibrating at higher frequencies we can learn to control these frequencies, and hence control the energy around us.

 

One last note, Chi energy is life energy, we must work in keeping our bodies healthy to have proper Chi energy. So focus on keeping your system alkaline, and not acidic and you will also feel much, much better. As acid is not how we want to feel and not what we want to bring into our lives. This does not mean that sometimes we cannot have a drink or two, but it might help to drink a glass of water with one half teaspoon of baking soda in it afterwards as well as the next day to balance the PH

of our systems. The same goes if you eat a lot of acidic foods.

 

I will write later on the different types of energies which different types of people project, and how to tune into them. But for now, just focus on feeling your energies if even for five minutes in the evening and thinking about positive things and what you wish to bring into life.

 

Much love,

Joan

 

PS to make Google happy Ihave to write the words free psychic question in these as well.

Ezine Article; Understanding Psychic Ability, How And Why It Works

Free psychic question, ask for your free psychic reading

Love And Psychic Attachment

Love And Psychic Attachment. Or “Cords”

 

When we become close to someone we often form psychic or intuitive bonds, that can connect us to them so deeply that we can often feel what they're feeling, know when they're going to call and know when something is wrong.

 

Many intuitive's referred to this as psychic cords. This may sound strange to many people but we are all connected to an energy field that is life energy, or the life force. When we become particularly close to someone, that part of our life force, that vibrational frequency in our energy field, mixes with theirs and often we attach to them. Even when there is discord in the relationship we can feel them strongly and feel the attachment to them through energy cords. These cords usually attach to the heart and the belly energy centers or “chakras” within our bodies. This is a part of why our heart aches and we get a sick feeling in her gut when there is separation in the relationship.

 

What many people don't know is that we can often influence others through our attachments of these cords by simply focusing on them very strongly and sending out thoughts and memories of when times were good in the relationship.

 

Energy attachments are tricky things, as anyone who is ever been in love and gone through separation knows. They cannot explain the pain they are feeling where it comes from or why, they often simply know, or have a strong feeling, as to what this other person is doing or feeling. Because they don't understand why the situation is affecting them so strongly they often approach psychic advisors to explain it to them and help them through it.

 

For instance, I've had many people call me asking how they simply knew this person was talking to, or with, someone else. It is because they are still attached, their energy is still mixed with this person and this person's energy is mixed within them. They still have a cord or two attached.

 

The concept of cords may sound strange to some one thinking in terms of the physical realms, but remember the physical realm is simply energy vibrating at a very low speed and makes up a very small percentage of the energy that exists in the universe.  The energy that attaches us is beyond the physical realm but still very real.

 

The good news is that although the lover who may have severed the attachment may be on to other things, there is still an attachment felt and that can be used in a positive way to bring thoughts of the one left behind to their minds.

 

The tricky part here is learning to change the behaviors that cause the separation and hence to direct their energy to heal the relationship, if one really wants that lover to return. Sometimes it is simply too difficult and not worth it. And it is best to heal the damage left by learning how to sever these cords and heal the energy centers within our heart and our energy centers that have been fractured and damaged to the separation.

 

Either way anyone who has experienced a broken heart can attest to the pain felt when the energy between lovers has been disrupted.

 

For your free psychic question contact one of our many talented psychic advisors.

How To Create Positive Energy In Your Life

Creating positive energy isn't always an easy thing. Particularly when we have no choice but to deal with the negativity of those around us. Often it's in the workplace, sometimes in our personal relationships, or attached to those that we love.

 

So I'm going to teach you a meditation. It only takes a few seconds to help you center and balance your energy, your chakras, and your mind to protect yourself from the negativity of this sometimes difficult, world.

 

Okay, we are going to start with connecting to that which connects us all. We are going to learn how to draw earth energy through our feet and spirit energy through the top of our head. Then with a deep breath to calm our bodies, we are going to learn how to create positive energy surround ourselves with it, and use it to protect ourselves.

 

However, before we start, you must remember one thing. When someone is trying to engage you in the negativity you must not react in kind. As some people are addicted to their own negative behavior and will try and draw you in, you must not react unless your life is in danger.

 

So we begin. You start this by feeling the energy in your lowest chakra, which we called the ” root” chakra. This is where your sex organs are and the basis of life and reproduction. This is very powerful energy. Now while focusing on that root energy, imagine you are reaching down through your legs and the bottom of your feet and growing tree roots into the ground (even if you are on the top floor of the building you can do this) and begin to pull energy from the earth, the mother of which gave us our bodies. and pull the energy up through your feet, legs and root chakra and into our solar plexus, which is right above the belly.

 

Now simply keep that energy there. Sometimes you will feel it and sometimes if you are starting out, and unsure of yourself, you won't. But, if you visualize it every time you do this, it will work.

 

Now we are going to visualize the top of our head opening up and we are reaching into spirit energy, which is the divine. We're visualizing the white light of spirit energy, or whatever color you envision it to be, coming down through the top of your head. You're pulling it down to your third eye in your forehead through your throat and then through your heart and meeting the earth energy in your solar plexus. Now you are allowing both energies to mix within your body and focus on the places that have been hurt, or could be hurt by the negativity of the person who is trying to cause it. This is usually something you feel in your heart and in your belly chakra.

 

I want you to focus on which area hurts the most and use both the earth and spirit energy to fill that area while you think of a happier moment in your life, a time when you felt confident and strong. Or, you can think about a goal a plan for something you believe would make you happy. Stay focused on that thought. Mix the energy together and then use that energy by projecting it from your heart and/or your belly to surround your body with protective white light of positive energy.

 

If you practice this short meditation long enough, it will become an effective tool in removing and keeping away the negativity of others. Those who may not be as advanced emotionally, and who will try to put their unhealthy attitudes and energy on others to feed there own emotional need for negativity. Unfortunately, there are many people out there who will do this. As you have no control over them or their actions, you only have control over your own actions and thoughts. By using this simple exercise, while refusing to react to them, you actually can change their behavior towards you. But remember do not react with negativity, do not raise your voice. Be gentle and calm and if necessary, walk away.

 

 

 

 

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