.We have all been at “thet place” where you were ready for a commitment and h claimed he was not. “Why ruin a good thing?” or “I am just nor ready for a serious relationship?” After dating for 7 months…. Often you will find he is dating another girl while he is also dating you and says “But we are not in a relationship!” after you been having sex with him for a period of months. So here are some ways to change his attitude towards you and relationships to have him come rushing back to you to accept committing a serious, exclusive relationships.
He will most likely try and contact you to see if you are open to the past arrangement but still on his terms.
When you do communicate do not ask him if he is ready to commit. Do not mention the relationship at all, simply make small talk about what he is doing in his life and what you are doing in yours. Talk about accomplishments at work etc. But when brings up “hanging out” Then stick to your gunns and let him know that you are not involving yourself with him in that way unless he is wiling to commit to an exclusive relationship with a potential future. He is likely to either get off the phone quickly, say again that he is “not ready for relationship” or say he misses you and perhaps you can talk about it. But do not expect the latter on first contact.
He needs to feel safe in communication with you and not guilty nor feel any pressure unless he is asking to meet you. again. This way he will remember how comfortable it was to talk to you and he will start to miss you.
From there, do not expect him to request to see you, right away, this will take time.
You must actually put yourself in the mindset that you will move on and start dating in a couple of months. The logic behind this is that if he senses that you are moving on and that he might loose you for good, he will have to be ready to commit to get you back.
If he does not and tried to make things the “way they were” without a commitment, state your case clearly and refuse to become intimate with him, walk away until he does commit.
You must not seem needy or desperate in any way. He will love you when he feels that he has to pursue you.
Ofetn, men pulled back when the dynamic of the relationship is that you appear to be pursuing him. No matter how subtle, it was there and that is what usually creates the pull back on his part.
Now he must envision that you will meet men who find you attractive, even though this will be difficult for you, if you want him back you must gear up to play the part.
While you are away from him you might want to do some on line dating even though your heart may not be into it. This is because you MUST keep yourself busy and find your self worth, that other men do in fact find you attractive and project that to him when you speak.
If he was ever serious about you, he is still going to talk to you, even if you start to date, probably more. (unless he is a mamas boy, then he will just run back to mom)
It is the thought that you will move on and value yourself enough that you will not keep waiting for him forever that will spur his decision to commit to you.
It generally takes three to five months before he comes back, if you play it right. but you must not call, text or email him first. He MUST be the one to make initial contact every time. This can be maddening, but it must be for this to work.
The dynamic of this relationship must change and you have made the right moves to change it so far.
There is a lot of hope here, but you must play the part if you are to win this game.
I have gone through these things with many women and I have a really good track record of success. You CAN have this guy back!!!!! But you must stick to your guns.
It is going to be painful but if you are firm in your resolve, you stand a very good chance of winning him back and with a solid commitment.
He needs time to miss you, to realize that he could loose you ,to see that you value yourself enough to feel you deserve to be treated with respect. He needs to respect you and he will, after he has distanced himself and realized that he really misses you…
He needs to live with the thought that you will be with another man if he does not step up. He occasionally needs to be reminded of the good times when you talk ( he will contact you when he really misses you) and how pleasant it is to talk to you.
He needs time to suffer without you. Even if he is with another woman. He will feel the ned to chase you not her because you pulled away.
That is what it will take for him to come back to you.
The hard part is not doing anything and that is what I am going to suggest until he contacts you. Then be pleasant, display humor and warmth about the past and remind him of the good times. Then let him know about your NEW social life without mentioning dates until the second call unless he asks.
Talk about the things you are doing to keep busy. Do not talk about dating right away, just that you have been having fun. Give it about two months before you talk to him about dating and be prepared to hear his dating stories as well. He will call your bluff, but if he were ever to commit to you he will. If he has not within five months, he never intended to and never will.