Why is it so difficult to breakup?

Even when a relationship is bad it can be hard to let go. I get a LOT of questions about how to deal with breakups in my free psychic question, free psychic reading email.

The issues are twofold. First, nature created a chemical attachment to our partners so we are literally “addicted” to our them. Tise is so we will still feel responsible to the person who before birth control, would be the parent and provider to our children, hence encouraging the health and well being of families. The second is that we have connection through our life force , Or Chi, or energy bodies that makes us ” feel them” even when they are not around. I find that this is often stronger in women although men however, do feel it. They are just sometimes less in tune with their emotions.

Never fear women, there is a way to connect to your ex using this life force and his emotions ( if you want him back) and because he is often an emotional idiot , he will be even more acceptable.

However, if you want to let go, it can be difficult and takes time.

Everyone feels depressed and low after a breakup. Especially if it was a long term relationship that you were placing your hopes of the future on.

It makes you sad, causes you to have trouble sleeping, can make you feel tight in the chest, as if you sometimes have trouble breathing. What is worse is your friends don’t understand what you are going through and just want you to “get over it” which is not something that you are going to do easily, if at all so soon after the breakup.

You are emotionally and intuitively, connected to this person and it creates a painful, physical reaction. You have had your love ripped away from you and your heart aches, your gut hurts, you keep having dreams about them and you cannot, no matter how hard you try, get them out of your head.
The good news is if you are wanting to find ways to stop the pain, there are products that can help.

If you are not into taking prescription medications there is a product called “Relax All” That can relax you to help you get over the stress and bring on sleep. I also find that Ashwaganda is great for calming the nerves and raising the spirits during this time..

You may be able to find online or in a health food or herb store and it does really help. So does a product called SAMEE that you might be able to get in the grocery market or health food store.

Relax All helps with the onset of fear of loss and the stress, and tightness in your chest as well as the sleep issues that come with a breakup. SAMEE helps your brain to start making serotonin, or the happy chemical that you are not getting now. It is a natural and safe antidepressant. I suggest that you take it in the AM, on an empty stomach, 30 minutes before breakfast.

If you are only going to get one , I would recommend the “relax all”. It is pretty potent. Can make you loopy or give you a buzz if you take enough:) But Ashwaganda is also really good at relaxing the nerves and lifting your spirit, which as we all know is an serious issue if going through a breakup from a long term love.

Even if you have decided that this person is bad for you and you really want to get away from them, it can be difficult to remove them from your spirit and memory. I find that often the best way is to find new activities in which you can go out and make new friends. Social interaction my be difficult immediately after the breakup, but if you have come to terms with the idea that you really do not want to reunite with this person, then finding new social circles really helps. It can give you the realization that you can find someone who has something in common with you and, well it gives you new people to connect to to fill that “hole” in your life and heart …

He pulled away when I asked if I was his girlfriend

I find a lot there is a lot of confusion in trying to establish the status of a relativity new relationship in my free psychic question email..
If you are confused, you may ask Joan for more advice in your free psychic reading

I was seeing a guy casually for about a year. I finally brought up that the whole, “what were we?” and soon after, he disappeared–which was confusing.

He has come back around lately, and I saw him Friday night. And ever since, I am feeling anxious and weird about it..and don’t know why.

So, I guess, my question is: what will happen with us? Was that the last time I’ll see him? is that why i feel so weird right now?

This happens a lot when girls get frustrated and want to know the status of the relationship, so they ask… Then the guy pulls away, without giving her a clear answer… But he usually pulls away only for a few days..
The issue here is that he likes you, but is frightened of the commitment. He wants to be in control of the situation and by asking him if you were his girlfriend, you took control.
The thing is that guys like to be the one chasing and not the one being chased. when you asked him the status of your relationship you change this dynamic by being the one doing the pursuing…
The way to deal with this is to not always be available to him so he wonders who you are with. Be fun and happy when you are with him, but mysterious about your whereabouts when you cannot make a date at the times he wants. Do it this way “I have plans on that day , but am available on the next day””
This will cause his “chase instinct” to kick in and he will be more interested in calling you his girlfriend.
After you have been with him for awhile, the best way to put things that may be more comfortable for him and help you to decide if this relationship has a future is to say ” I am not trying to pressure you about the relationship, but I do want to have some things in my future” Then state the things you want and ask” how do you feel about these things?”
Chances are he will tell you, and you will be able to decide if this relationship is worth your time or not.

I am a nice guy who has a crush on a girl that goes for bad boys

So many times, in my free psychic reading email, I get questions from guys who have a crush on a girl, who seems to only date jerks. If you want to learn how to get the girl of your dreams away from a jerky boyfriend, you can ask Joan for advice in your free psychic question.

There is this girl I work with. I don’t know exactly what it is about this girl, but I love her. I’ve enjoyed what little time I’ve spent hanging out with her a few times. I recently told her I love her, but really didn’t get much of a reaction. Myself, as well as many other people, think that I would be a really great guy for her. She is known to go after guys that are horrible for her. Guys that do drugs, and treat her like crap and disrespect her. She has told me a couple of times that she only likes me as a friend. I still hold onto hope that she’ll eventually change her mind about me and see me as a great guy for her. I was wondering if you see her eventually giving me a chance to be with her as a boyfriend/ possible eventual husband. I really love this girl and she’s all I think about, and I would just hate to never be able to get a chance with her.


The issue here is that she associates love with longing. She already has you and knows it, so she does not find you quite as attractive as the “bad boys”
IF you want her, turn your attention to another girl and do not give her as much of your time. She will suddenly find you more interesting.
IE if you want her, you must change your tactic. IF you keep doing the same thing you have done, you will keep getting what you have always gotten from her.

Do not call her to “check in” do not follow her like a puppy. Start to ignore her. The thing that will drive her crazy is that she is no longer the center of your attention and she was getting a ego rush off you giving her so much of yours. If you want this girl, you must make her work for your attention, just as her jerky BF does. The diference is that when she has had to work for your attention, you will throw her a bone and be just a bit nicer to her. Then you will be ” busy” again, but sweet about it. the fact that you are “just a bit nicer” than the jerk in rebuffing her attention will make her think of you as “sweet”. The fact that she has competition for your attention, wil make you a challenge.

Yes, you will be “playing games” but that is the only thing a girl like this will respond to. So you have to ask yourself, do you want the girl enough to play games for her?

If the naswer is “no” then it is time to move on..

Is he the one?

I’m sure you get these in your free psychi questions all the time. Women who beg for you to help figure out their life problems. Well to be honest, I don’t want you to figure out all of my problems.just one. You see, I’ve had my run with love a few times, but never got it right. Can you tell me, am I with the one who is right for me, or is he still out there? Its really important for me to find out. I don’t want to waste my life. So please, help.

Answer. If you are still young, then often your partners are not completely mature when it comes to relationships, is not as much as you being with the one, but being with the one who is ready

Answer. If you are still young, then often your partners are not completely mature when it comes to relationships, is not as much as you being with the one, but being with the one who is ready.

I am going to suggest that you change something in your approach to relationships. Have you been pushing for a commitment too soon, being needy by calling or texing a lot.
The best way to find the one is to get involved in your “own thing” and allow them to pursue you, not the other way around.
The point here is that if you wait around for him to purpose, it may never happen. However, if he has to purpose to keep you and you have your own thing that puts you in situations where you MIGHT meet other guys, he is less likely to take you for granted and more likely to feel he needs to make a commitment to hang on to you.
Girls, do not be the one hanging on to the guys, let them chase you and you will find the one:)

Mama’s boys

The problem with mamas boys is that they come across as wonderful, sweet guys at first.
Then you start to find out his mom is always going to be number one and you will have to take a back seat.

Mamas boys never severed their childhood attachment with their mothers. They are constantly trying to please her, fear angering her and have an emotional dependency that is just plain unhealthy.

Their mothers will often criticize any woman they are with and can be more jealous than a lover. There is a sick inter-dependency between son and mother and the woman in his life is just there for sex, but his mama will always be his one true love

You will never be a priority with a mamas boy unless you are his mother. It is an infantile attachment that they do not have the will or desire to break.
He will go to great lengths to prove to his mother what a great son he is. You will simply be a convenience in his life. Compared to his love for his mother, you do not have a chance of ever being his number one true love. He already has one, his mom.

I knew of one mamas boy who bought his mother a house and paid for her mortgage even though he could not afford place of his own that was as nice. He expected his girlfriends to help him pay for a place for them to live, if she wanted to live with him. Otherwise, he lived in the house with his mother. A fact he kept hidden from his girlfriends until after he had sex with them. He simply claimed he lived far away and would have to stay at her place when he was in town.

He bought a boat to keep at his mothers lake house ( which he was paying for) so his mother ” could enjoy her lake experience while she still could” even though his lover ( who he was now living with, or off) was cash strapped and needed a better vehicle.
She simply was not nor was she ever going to be, a priority in his life.
His mother was always going to be number one.

How can you spot a mamas boy? Well he will come across as your dream guy, sweet and considerate at first. He knows how to please a woman as he has been doing it all his life with mom.
But, if he talks to his mother on the phone more than once a week. He constantly refers to her, he compares you to her, she feeds him or does his laundry for him, cleans up after him, he tells her private things about you, she helps him make his choices, he doesn’t defend you to her, Is constantly rushing to her side, talks about how he is going to handle her future for her more often that he should. He sneaks out to call her so you can’t hear what he says. Well then, you have your signs.

Relationships with mamas boys never turn out happy in the long run, as he will never break his dependency on her. If it comes down to your or her, he will choose her every time.
It is like being with a married man, only you will never be able to compete with the “other woman”.

Any woman who has been caught in the mamas boy trap will tell you to pass this one up no matter how sweet he comes off at first. It is a one way ticket to abuse and heartbreak that you simply don’t need.

Who will I marry?

I get this question a lot in my free psychic reading email questions.

Here is the problem. Not everything is about fate. We have choices in life and as a result in many cases, the future is not formed yet.

Yes, I know you expect me to see into the future and in many cases I can. But in this case, love is not always a matter of fate.

you were given free will so you could make choices. There are strong probabilities as to who will cross your path and that can be seen by a good psychic.

but the ultimate choice is yours. Destiny is a potential, not a promise…

So Hun, it is best to use your time time to focus on learning to flirt and experiment with dating over time, so you can make the right choices in finding and attracting the right partner.

Not everything is so cut and dried as you would like it to be.
You have free will and choices. So first you must choose an action to take, to create a situation where you will meet a potential partner…
As much as you would like to believe it, who you marry is not predestined or set in stone..
I want you to look around you and see how many relationships and marriages you see that did not work out…. If love was always predestined and meant to be, then all these relationships would have been happy ones….
Make careful choices as to who you spend your time with, who you allow yourself to bond with sexually, as in getting to know the person well, before you have sex with them.

This is particularly important for women, as science has taught us that good sex can actually cause you to become addicted to a man..
That is right, MRI scan have shown that when a woman who is in love is shown a picture of her lover, her brain show a activity in exactly the same place and exactly the same was as a crack addicts brain does when using crack….
And yes, a psychic can help lead you to find a good partner, but you must do the work in
Putting forth the effort to be in the places she sends you to…
A free psychic reading can also help you get on the right path to meeting a good life mate. But most of the time you must date a few people to learn about the dynamics of a relationship, before you are ready for a life long commitment..

How do I get my ex to return my calls?

Is there something you could do or say that would compel your ex to return your calls. Have you tried and tried to leave phone and text messages only to have them ignored. Is there some mystical technique, some magic words that will have your ex happy to return your calls?

Actually there are words that will seem as if you have cast a spell that will have a profound effect on not only having your ex return your calls, but doing so with an attitude of warmth and acceptance.

Amazing, but it’s true.

I’m going to tell you this, and you are going to be surprised. Not only are the results, but because it is so amazingly simple.


Getting your calls returned will not be enough to win your ex back without a complete preplanned strategy.

Doing this without a plan of action when they do return your calls to put you back to square one.

So you must have a strategy.

But first, you need to know what NOT to say.

Here are the approaches that NEVER work.

Do not leave a message that sounds like an emergency.

” Dave something awful has happened. Please call me as soon as you get this.”.

Do not plead with them over voicemail or text.

” Beth, I’ve been trying to contact you, please, please, I have to talk to you.”..

Neither of these approaches are going to receive a positive response for obvious reasons.

However, far too often, this is just the sort of message, a jilted lover will leave in desperation.

There is a much better way to get their attention and turn their attitude towards you from annoyance to positive.

You use the powerful psychological advantage of invoking their curiosity and vanity.

When you use these to together, curiosity, and vanity. You will have discovered the magic formula that will catch your ex’s attention in a positive way. This one works just about every time.

Here is what you say.

In a friendly tone of voice:

” Hi Dave, it’s Lisa. I wanted to know how much I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I’d like to thank you in person.”

Do you see how this uses both curiosity and vanity?

Dave will be wondering “What did I do that she appreciate so much”. And he feels good about himself because it’s a positive message letting him know that you appreciate him.

It is the greatest desire of every person to be appreciated. So many relationships fall apart because rather than pointing out the good things that we appreciate about our partner, far too often we point out in negative things we want them to change. Rarely does a negative comment ever come to positive result.

Therefore, we are changing the dynamics of your communications with your ex from negative to positive, and stroking their vanity.

When a person feels appreciated here more generous with their emotions and love towards the one who is showing them in appreciation.


Before you make this call, you need to figure out what he or she did that you appreciate.

It can be anything, even something small, but it needs to be believable.

You also must have a strategy planned out before you call.

If you make this call no preplanned strategy and they call you back. This can do more harm than good.

It must be handled properly.

If you would like for Joan to work with you on this plan, click here.

Here’s to bringing your love back into your life.

Joan Marie Lawson

Have you asked Joan for your free psychic question yet? Joan offers 1 free psychic reading per person, via email. Joan is an accurate on line psychic who also gives psychic readings by phone. There are many psychics on the Internet but how many have actually answered 1 free psychic question for you? Joan is an expert tarot reader and gives tarot readings over the phone.

Why can’t I get my ex our of my head?

Unfortunately nature played a cruel trick on us in order to get us to reproduce and stay with a family. When we fall in love we become “attached” to a person our brain creates chemicals that give us a “high” like a chemical reward for being with this person. Our brain becomes flooded with “love” chemicals. In brain scans these chemicals work on the part of the brain, in the exact same way, as a cocaine addicts does when they are on their favorite drug ( cocaine). Hence, we actually become addicted to that person. When that person pulls away, our brains stop producing these chemicals and we go through an actual chemical withdrawal. It hurts!!!Unfortunately we have no control over being able to emotionally let go of this person and only time will heal this but the good news is

but the good news is that it does heal with time.So when those who do not understand tell us to “get over it” they are actually being insensitive as we are not in control of this process and cannot get over it until time has allowed our brain chemicals to even out just as it does with any drug addict.The hard part is that when we are attached to a person often we can actually “feel” them as we often have a psychic connection to those we have close relationships with. This makes it even more difficult to heal.Studies have shown that distracting your brain, by counting backwards by a multiple of seven ( not easy to do, but that is the point) every time you think of your ex, can help train your brain to let go. Or if you do not like that then simply try focusing on a difficult task every time your ex enters your head. However, I am not so sure myself that this will work when fresh out of a breakup.Sometimes we are not sure that it really is over or if we are just on a break;Joan can help you understand what is going on with your ex and if there is hope.

How can I get my lover back?

OK, you have tried calling, texting and emailing. Yet you are being avoided, or worse given lame excuses..Now it is time for desperate measures. OK, well first STOP CALLING!!!!! Do NOT TRY TO CONTACT THEM. It is not working.This will only make you look needy and you will be avoided more and for a longer time.The way to get back into a lovers heart is through their emotions.. That is right by putting a thought into their head reminding them of the good things you two had between you two.

How do you do that when you cannot contact them???By using the psychic connection you developed with them through your time together…YEP, I am talking about the old fashioned love spell. However, this is not the kind of love spell where you pay a psychic exorbitant amounts of money to do it for you.. This is often a scam. The “psychic” tells you that for a price they will do a spell for with “guaranteed results” only to have no results. Then they tell you there is some “bad energy” or an energy block or “someone else is putting a spell on you to block you from him” and you must then pay more money to remove these things. Also an old scam. They will often tell you that they need more money for “supplies” and if you do not pay them you “;will never see your ex again”;.OK, do not fall for this.. It is all a scam.

Here is what I do. I give you the spell free of charge to try on your own.If you would like, I charge $100. to do it with you over the phone. I teach you how to do it. However, I spend no more that 45 minutes for this price and that does NOT give you the right to call me to chat about it at any time. I charge for my phone time. If you have questions and do not want to be charged. Then you may email me.. I do answer emails when I have time.

This is what the spell does. It puts a thought of you into their mind. It reminds them of the good times you had together. It gives them sexual thoughts of you and often they have dreams if you . We are aiming for dreams as that puts thoughts of you into their subconscious so you are on their mind a lot. Often after doing this, many people ( most) have reported their ex showing up at their front door in the middle of the night. They have had emails and phone calls from their ex out of the blue. They have met their ex again for the first time since the worst part of the breakup.

This is what the spell does. It puts a thought of you into their mind. It reminds them of the good times you had together. It gives them sexual thoughts of you and often they have dreams if you . We are aiming for dreams as that puts thoughts of you into their subconscious so you are on their mind a lot. Often after doing this, many people ( most) have reported their ex showing up at their front door in the middle of the night. They have had emails and phone calls from their ex out of the blue. They have met their ex again for the first time since the worst part of the breakup.

This is what it won’t do. Fix whatever the problem was that caused you two to break up over in the first place. If you have not done some work to understand what went wrong and taken measures to at least change things on your end. Then the problems will still be there. It will not change the chemistry of their brains. You cannot control another person through a spell, you can only put a thought in their head. When they see you again, you must have changed something , whatever was the cause of your breakup, to make things different.

If they left you for another person, I cannot guarantee that they will breakup with that person for you. I cannot change the brain chemicals associated with lust towards another person. All I can do, working with you on this spell over the phone, is put you in their head in a positive way. If they are having trouble with whoever they are with at the time, they will think of you and the possibility is that they will miss you and want to see you.. That is what we are aiming for.

You will need your list, a bowl of water, a bowl of salt, a knife, a cup of red wine (if you indulge) and music that will put you in the mood for a trance,
Place any personal items you may have from the individual we will be focusing on in front of you.
Have both the bowl of water and salt with the knife laid ready. Behind the bowls have the red candles for love. (Preferably male and female candles)
We begin by drawing up the white light from your feet and feeling it flow through your body. use it to protect yourself and the area you are working in.

Now place the knife in the bowl of water and say, “I exorcise thee (We are speaking old English now as this is a very old ritual) O creature of water, that thou cast out from thee all impurities and uncleanness of the spirit world of phantasm.”
Put the knife in the bowl of salt and say, “Blessings be upon this creature of salt. Let all malignity and hindrance be cast forth hence from, and let all good enter herein. Wherefore do I bless thee, that thou mayest aid me in the names of the guardian angles who have chosen to protect me, Raphael,Michael,Gabriel,Ariel.

Pour the water into the salt and lay both bowls aside.

Now visualize the white light being projected from your hand and use it to form a protective circle around your area. Say ” I conjure up the circle of power, that this be only a place of love, joy and truth. A shield against all wickedness and evil. A boundary between the worlds of men and the realms of the mighty ones “(Meaning angels or whatever you may call them, we are about to invite them into the circle)”A rampart of protection, that shall preserve and contain the power that we shall raise within thee.
Now as you visualize the white light coming from the ground, through your feet, up through your head, over your body, and extending out through your hands. use your hands to direct the energy to protect your area in white light.

Now turn to the east and say “Ye lords of watchtowers of the East, lord of air, I call upon the angel Raphael. I call upon you to witness my rites and protect my circle. Then say “Yod He Vau He”
Now turn to the south and say “Ye lords of watchtowers of the South, Lord of fire, Angel Michael, I call upon you up to witness my rites and protect my circle.” Then say “Adoni”

Then face the West and say, “Ye lords of the watchtowers of the West, angel Gabriel, Lord of water, I call upon you up to witness my rites and protect my circle. and say “Eheieh”

Now turn to the North and say ” Ye lord of the watchtowers of the North, angel Auriel, angel of Earth, I call upon you to witness my rites and protect my circle. then say “Agla”

OK you have now called upon the angles of protection if you have visualized them strongly they will be there.
We now go into the Quabilistic cross.
Touch your forehead (third eye) and say “Ateh”
Touch your heart and say “Malkuth”
Touch your right shoulder and say “VE Geburah”
Touch your left shoulder and say “VE Gedulah”
Clasp both hands to your breast and say “LE Olhan Amen”

Now we go into the chant from the lost language. As you do this, visualize the energy swirling around you. As it does catch it in your hands and let it flow back and forth between your hands like a cyclone.
“Bagabi lacha bachabe
Lamac cahi achabae
Lammac lamac bachalys
Cabahgy sablyos
Lagoz atha cabyolas
Shamahac atha famlas”

Then lift your cup of wine and say “Hurrahyh”
Drink and giggle

Light the candle for what you are seeking.
Read out loud the things on your list that you wish for.
Now we do the Pendulum meditation. You will need a shiny object such as a pendant on a necklace and dangle it between your thumb and forefinger.
We will watch it as it swings back and forth or round in circles (wherever it chooses to go) to put ourselves in a trance. We will say a chant repeating and affirming what we have asked for.
As we are saying the next chant let the energy swirl in your hands like a small tornado (again) and say
“Eko , Eko, Azarak
Eko, Eko, Zamilak
Eko, Eko, Cerunnos,
Ekko, Eko, Aradia

Now chant the list of things that you have asked for as you release the tornado energy into the cosmos, giggling as you do. It is important you have humor at this point and a made up poem, the sillier, the better will help immensely.

Now you may close the circle. it is important that you release all the angels Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Auriel, and thank them for joining you or their energy will stick around and be a bit grumpy for keeping them there. Weird things happen if you forget to release the guardians of the watchtowers.

Good luck this is an ancient ritual, It works, be careful what you ask for.

For more information on having Joan perform this spell with you, you may call her at 866-845-6680

Many psychics will try to frighten you by telling you that you have a “curse” on you or that someone has put an “block” on your relationship. This is an old scam this I have heard many complaints about over the years… If you request energy work from me, I will do the ritual with you over the phone and explain everything I am doing so that you will understand the process. Anyone who asks you for money but does not do the work with you over the phone, is not actually doing it. There must be a strong and immediate psychic connection for any energy healing to work.
I am also a talented Tarot reader and I use my readings to find just what is holding you back in life to help you attain the happiness that may have evaded you in the past.


Dating advice for strong career women


As a professional psychic I have heard a lot of relationship issues from both men and women.. One of these is in maintaining the masculine/feminine balance between men and women in careers in which they must be extremely aggressive.

You may be a bit strong in business and that is a really good thing for a woman. But appearing too strong in relationships with men, takes away from their masculinity and they naturally avoid women who are stronger than them. What works in business does not work in relationships

Pursing a man takes away his need to chase you and win you over. A man can really admire you for what you have accomplished, but if you pursue him like you would a business situation, chances are he will run the other way…

A woman needs to soften up a bit for her lover. When a man sees that you are soft and receptive for him and strong in business, it is a turn on. Many men brag about this, when talking about dating a successful female. As long as you never turn that side of yourself that can be aggressive in getting what she wants in the business world, towards them, They will consider you a trophy. If you do decide to treat him as you would a business situation, watch him run for the hills…

It is OK for a woman to be strong and come across as dominant in business. But you must not appears this way in your romantic relationships with men. It takes away from their feelings of masculinity. A man is turned on by a woman in terms of how she makes him feel about himself. If he feels emasculated then the relationship is doomed…

So remember,you can take the lead in business, but not in personal relationships with masculine men. They need to feel they are the ones in control. To feel that he has control of a strong woman, who may dominate others but not him, can be a big turn on to many guys…..It makes him feel stronger. It is all in how you play it..

The best thing you can do in these situations, is to lay the feminine bait, make flirty eyes, but never openly pursue him… Let him feel that he must win you over from your other suitors… Be they real or imagined…. A man wants a woman that other men want… So giving him an inviting smile and then turning away to answer a call or talk to another person is fine. Just do not do the approaching, let him take the initiative….

However, if you are interested in a man who is not as masculine, who may be a bit more laid back, then the rules are different. I have seen some cases in which very strong women had successful relationships with men who preferred to stay at home with the children… These are rare, but they do occur… However, my overall experience with talking to men has been that they do not like to date women who show any kind of dominance over them….
Want to know what type of guy will work best for you? Ask Joan for your sample free psychic reading.