My ex says he does not love me but still wants to see me

Here is a question I see often in my free psychic reading email.
Q
My boyfriend and I recently broke up because he said didn’t feel he was in love with me anymore and didn’t see a long term future together. We have still being seeing each other occasionally and he is still very loving and affectionate towards me.We are still having sex. Does he think he has made a mistake and will he change his mind about us? Please give me your psychic advice as to what I should do.
A

A
Here is the thing. You must change something in the dynamic of the relationship for him to love you. You have been giving, accommodating and basically doing everything you could to make him love you. It did not work. Now I suggest that you hide your true feelings and become more of a challenge to him. Start to think about what is right for YOU. Start to do things on your own without him and let him know about it when he calls you. Do not call him or appear to chase, pursue, or in any other way seek out contact or his companionship first. Wait for him to call or text you.
He wants the thrill of feeling he is chasing a woman. He does not have to chase you, he knows he has you so his male instinct of the excitement of pursuit is not being triggered. There is no mystery, no challenge, no excitement in it for him anymore.

He knows he can have sex with you any time he wants so he will. But this will not make him love you. He will simply use you for sex. You must change this dynamic in your relationship with him if you do not want to end up as just a “friend with benefits”
You CAN have him, but not if you keep doing thing they way you have been. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.

If you appear to have more of a life without him, are doing something interesting on your own, something that may make you more interesting to other men, ( and other people) you have just upped your social value and your relationship value. He really does want someone that other men want, as jealousy is often a good thing:) A woman who has her own thing and is not “needy” towards him is more exciting to a man. A woman who has a stronger social circle is more desirable, this is an instinctive thing as humans are pack orientated. We are a social species as our survival was traditionally dependent on the strength of the tribe. If you are entirely dependent on him for companionship you have less value on the instinctual “tribal” level.

You must stop having sex with him. Chances are if you do he will try harder to BE with you as he likes the challenge. If he does not, then it is time to let go. He does not respect you and never will.

So go out and get involved in a project that makes you some new friends. It will make you a more interesting person to all the men in your life.

Elementor #590

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My ex says he does not love me but still wants to see me

Here is a question I see often in my free Psychic Reading Email

Q
My boyfriend and I recently broke up because he said didn’t feel he was in love with me anymore and didn’t see a long term future together. We have still being seeing each other occasionally and he is still very loving and affectionate towards me.We are still having sex. Does he think he has made a mistake and will he change his mind about us? Please give me your psychic advice as to what I should do.

Answer:

ere is the thing. You must change something in the dynamic of the relationship for him to love you. You have been giving, accommodating and basically doing everything you could to make him love you. It did not work. Now I suggest that you hide your true feelings and become more of a challenge to him. Start to think about what is right for YOU. Start to do things on your own without him and let him know about it when he calls you. Do not call him or appear to chase, pursue, or in any other way seek out contact or his companionship first. Wait for him to call or text you.
He wants the thrill of feeling he is chasing a woman. He does not have to chase you, he knows he has you so his male instinct of the excitement of pursuit is not being triggered. There is no mystery, no challenge, no excitement in it for him anymore.

He knows he can have sex with you any time he wants so he will. But this will not make him love you. He will simply use you for sex. You must change this dynamic in your relationship with him if you do not want to end up as just a “friend with benefits”
You CAN have him, but not if you keep doing thing they way you have been. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.

If you appear to have more of a life without him, are doing something interesting on your own, something that may make you more interesting to other men, ( and other people) you have just upped your social value and your relationship value. He really does want someone that other men want, as jealousy is often a good thing:) A woman who has her own thing and is not “needy” towards him is more exciting to a man. A woman who has a stronger social circle is more desirable, this is an instinctive thing as humans are pack orientated. We are a social species as our survival was traditionally dependent on the strength of the tribe. If you are entirely dependent on him for companionship you have less value on the instinctual “tribal” level.

You must stop having sex with him. Chances are if you do he will try harder to BE with you as he likes the challenge. If he does not, then it is time to let go. He does not respect you and never will.

So go out and get involved in a project that makes you some new friends. It will make you a more interesting person to all the men in your life.

I keep trying to contact my ex but he will not respond

This is often a difficult and most painful sign that your ex wants some space.

The first mistake you are making is trying to call him when he is not ready to talk to you. He needs time to think about what it is like to be without you and miss you. If you keep trying to contact him all he will think about is avoiding you. Not about how much he misses you. It will be imprinted in his brain that you are needy and desperate and all he will think about instead of missing you, is how to avoid you.
The problem is that you feel you have been doing the right things to make this relationship work but in fact, you have been making a few wrong moves that were making him feel suffocated. This is often why guys distance themselves after getting into what you thought was a committed relationship. He may have thought he wanted a relationship with you as well, but felt you “changed” when suddenly you were calling him instead of waiting for him to call you.
OK, this relationship may still be salvageable,

OK, this relationship may still be salvageable, but you must back off from him for awhile and change your tactic. Give him some space. I know you are hurting, but to let him know this is only going to make him feel guilty and the worse he feels the more he will want to stay away from you.
He may care for you, but the actions you have been taking are that of the pursuer and that puts him in the feminine role of the one being pursued, which men do not like.

It is going to take time and a change in tactic, if it is to be fixed. The whole dynamic of this relationship, the way in which you relate to him, will have to change for this to work and it will take some time before he is ready to communicate with you again.

I would start with giving him some space to miss you. The second thing is do the best you can, to keep yourself busy filling in the time you are thinking about contact him, with something else in your life. You will need to fill in the empty space he has left in your life the best you can for now.
You can rebuild a relationship with him later, but if he is avoiding you now and you keep chasing him, you will lessen your chances of having any relationship with him in the future.
Yes, there is a possibility that there is another woman involved and that may be he is avoiding you out of guilt. A psychic reading can help you determine if this is the case..

Love scams

Unfortunately, the Internet has opened up a whole new kind of scammer. The guy you meet through facebook or on a dating site who seems to be Mr. Perfect can be a scammer using your good intentions against you. If you have been communication with anyone who promises you to be your dream man, only to be “caught in a bind” and need money to come see you. Check the links below before you decide to hand over your hard earned cash. To see where an email is really coming from http://whatismyipaddress.com/staticpages/index.php/trace-email-source-IP… Here is some information on love scams and how to check up on the the one you are interested in but not sure of. report scammers to FBI www.lookstoogoodtobetrue.com http://www.Romancescams.com http://www.matchdoctor.com/article_1018/Falling_in_Love_Scams.html http://www.internet-love-scams.org/ http://www.suite101.com/content/ways-to-spot-a-love-scam-a57529 http://www.hotscams.com/categories/love-and-dating-scams.html http://www.419scam.org/419-love-scam.htm http://lovescams.blogspot.com/ http://romancelovescams.mysubdn.com/forum/index.php http://consumer-law.lawyers.com/consumer-fraud/Internet-Love-Scams-Are-S…

My boyfriend becomes distant after we have been intimate

Question;

My BF is driving me crazy with his mixed signals. We spend a lot of fun time together and just as we seem to be getting closer in our relationship, he suddenly shuts down and says he needs some time alone. I am always disappointed as I get my hopes up that the relationship is finally going towards commitment, but he suddenly acts like he is afraid and does not want to see or even talk to me until I have given up and left him alone. Then he comes back and we start all over again until we get really close and intimate and bam he pulls away again. Why does he do this? am I doing something wrong?

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Answer:

He is doing the get close and then pull away, relationship dance. When he does his pulling away, just give him his space and keep yourself busy until he contacts you on his own. Never appear to pursue him, especially after you have had a intense or intimate moment.
I know you want to be close to him after these times, but he needs time to emotionally process these things and then to miss you. So he will stay away for awhile, but then rest assured that if you give him the space and time he needs, he will be back. Men do not process emotions the same way that women do. It takes them much longer and they are not always as in touch with their feelings even though it is their emotions they are reacting to. They often feel fear when they become close to a woman and commitment is expected, so they need to pull back and process. They need to really miss you to realize that they love you.
That is just the way his mind works….
Men, sigh… They can be so aggravating sometimes..

I told him I was giving him some space until he is ready to commit

.We have all been at “thet place” where you were ready for a commitment and h claimed he was not. “Why ruin a good thing?” or “I am just nor ready for a serious relationship?” After dating for 7 months…. Often you will find he is dating another girl while he is also dating you and says “But we are not in a relationship!” after you been having sex with him for a period of months. So here are some ways to change his attitude towards you and relationships to have him come rushing back to you to accept  committing a serious, exclusive relationships.

He will  most likely try and contact you to see if you are open to the past arrangement but still on his terms.

When you do communicate do not ask him if he is ready to commit. Do not mention the relationship at all, simply make small talk about what he is doing in his life and what you are doing in yours. Talk about accomplishments at work etc. But when brings up “hanging out” Then stick to your gunns and let him know that you are not involving yourself with him in that way unless he is wiling to commit to an exclusive relationship with a potential future. He is likely to either get off the phone quickly, say again that he is “not ready for  relationship” or say he misses you and perhaps you can talk about it. But do not expect the latter on first contact. 

He needs to feel safe in communication with you and not guilty nor feel any pressure unless he is asking to meet you. again.  This way he will remember how comfortable it was to talk to you and he will start to miss you.
From there, do not expect him to request to see you, right away, this will take time.
You must actually put yourself in the mindset that you will move on and start dating in a couple of months. The logic behind this is that if he senses that you are moving on and that he might loose you for good, he will have to be ready to commit to get you back.

If he does not and tried to make things the “way they were” without a commitment, state your case clearly and refuse to become intimate with him, walk away until he does commit.

You must not seem needy or desperate in any way. He will love you when he feels that he has to pursue you.

Ofetn, men pulled back when the dynamic of the relationship is that you appear to be pursuing him. No matter how subtle, it was there and that is what usually creates the pull back on his part.

Now he must envision that you will meet men who find you attractive, even though this will be difficult for you, if you want him back you must gear up to play the part.
While you are away from him you might want to do some on line dating even though your heart may not be into it. This is because you MUST keep yourself busy and find your self worth, that other men do in fact find you attractive and project that to him when you speak.

If he was ever serious about you, he is still going to talk to you, even if you start to date, probably more. (unless he is a mamas boy, then he will just run back to mom)
It is the thought that you will move on and value yourself enough that you will not keep waiting for him forever that will spur his decision to commit to you.

It generally takes three to five months before he comes back, if you play it right. but you must not call, text or email him first. He MUST be the one to make initial contact every time. This can be maddening, but it must be for this to work.
The dynamic of this relationship must change and you have made the right moves to change it so far.

There is a lot of hope here, but you must play the part if you are to win this game.
I have gone through these things with many women and I have a really good track record of success. You CAN have this guy back!!!!! But you must stick to your guns.
It is going to be painful but if you are firm in your resolve, you stand a very good chance of winning him back and with a solid commitment.

He needs time to miss you, to realize that he could loose you ,to see that you value yourself enough to feel you deserve to be treated with respect. He needs to respect you and he will, after he has distanced himself and realized that he really misses you…

He needs to live with the thought that you will be with another man if he does not step up. He occasionally needs to be reminded of the good times when you talk ( he will contact you when he really misses you) and how pleasant it is to talk to you.
He needs time to suffer without you. Even if he is with another woman. He will feel the ned to chase you not her because you pulled away.
That is what it will take for him to come back to you.
The hard part is not doing anything and that is what I am going to suggest until he contacts you. Then be pleasant, display humor and warmth about the past and remind him of the good times. Then let him know about your NEW social life without mentioning dates  until the second call unless he asks.
Talk about the things you are doing to keep busy. Do not talk about dating right away, just that you have been having fun. Give it about two months before you talk to him about dating and be prepared to hear his dating stories as well. He will call your bluff, but if he were ever to commit to you he will. If he has not within five months, he never intended to and never will.

Why is it so difficult to breakup?

Even when a relationship is bad it can be hard to let go. I get a LOT of questions about how to deal with breakups in my free psychic question, free psychic reading email.

The issues are twofold. First, nature created a chemical attachment to our partners so we are literally “addicted” to our them. Tise is so we will still feel responsible to the person who before birth control, would be the parent and provider to our children, hence encouraging the health and well being of families. The second is that we have connection through our life force , Or Chi, or energy bodies that makes us ” feel them” even when they are not around. I find that this is often stronger in women although men however, do feel it. They are just sometimes less in tune with their emotions.

Never fear women, there is a way to connect to your ex using this life force and his emotions ( if you want him back) and because he is often an emotional idiot , he will be even more acceptable.


Everyone feels depressed and low after a breakup. Especially if it was a long term relationship that you were placing your hopes of the future on.

It makes you sad, causes you to have trouble sleeping, can make you feel tight in the chest, as if you sometimes have trouble breathing. What is worse is your friends don’t understand what you are going through and just want you to “get over it” which is not something that you are going to do easily, if at all so soon after the breakup.

You are emotionally and intuitively, connected to this person and it creates a painful, physical reaction. You have had your love ripped away from you and your heart aches, your gut hurts, you keep having dreams about them and you cannot, no matter how hard you try, get them out of your head.
The good news is if you are wanting to find ways to stop the pain, there are products that can help.

If you are not into taking prescription medications there is a product called “Relax All” That can relax you to help you get over the stress and bring on sleep. I also find that Ashwaganda is great for calming the nerves and raising the spirits during this time..

You may be able to find online or in a health food or herb store and it does really help. So does a product called SAMEE that you might be able to get in the grocery market or health food store.

Relax All helps with the onset of fear of loss and the stress, and tightness in your chest as well as the sleep issues that come with a breakup. SAMEE helps your brain to start making serotonin, or the happy chemical that you are not getting now. It is a natural and safe antidepressant. I suggest that you take it in the AM, on an empty stomach, 30 minutes before breakfast.

If you are only going to get one , I would recommend the “relax all”. It is pretty potent. Can make you loopy or give you a buzz if you take enough:) But Ashwaganda is also really good at relaxing the nerves and lifting your spirit, which as we all know is an serious issue if going through a breakup from a long term love.

Even if you have decided that this person is bad for you and you really want to get away from them, it can be difficult to remove them from your spirit and memory. I find that often the best way is to find new activities in which you can go out and make new friends. Social interaction my be difficult immediately after the breakup, but if you have come to terms with the idea that you really do not want to reunite with this person, then finding new social circles really helps. It can give you the realization that you can find someone who has something in common with you and, well it gives you new people to connect to to fill that “hole” in your life and heart …

I am a nice guy who has a crush on a girl that goes for bad boys

So many times, in my free psychic reading email, I get questions from guys who have a crush on a girl, who seems to only date jerks. If you want to learn how to get the girl of your dreams away from a jerky boyfriend, you can ask Joan for advice in your free psychic question.

Question
There is this girl I work with. I don’t know exactly what it is about this girl, but I love her. I’ve enjoyed what little time I’ve spent hanging out with her a few times. I recently told her I love her, but really didn’t get much of a reaction. Myself, as well as many other people, think that I would be a really great guy for her. She is known to go after guys that are horrible for her. Guys that do drugs, and treat her like crap and disrespect her. She has told me a couple of times that she only likes me as a friend. I still hold onto hope that she’ll eventually change her mind about me and see me as a great guy for her. I was wondering if you see her eventually giving me a chance to be with her as a boyfriend/ possible eventual husband. I really love this girl and she’s all I think about, and I would just hate to never be able to get a chance with her.

Answer
The issue here is that she associates love with longing. She already has you and knows it, so she does not find you quite as attractive as the “bad boys”
IF you want her, turn your attention to another girl and do not give her as much of your time. She will suddenly find you more interesting.
IE if you want her, you must change your tactic. IF you keep doing the same thing you have done, you will keep getting what you have always gotten from her.

Do not call her to “check in” do not follow her like a puppy. Start to ignore her. The thing that will drive her crazy is that she is no longer the center of your attention and she was getting a ego rush off you giving her so much of yours. If you want this girl, you must make her work for your attention, just as her jerky BF does. The diference is that when she has had to work for your attention, you will throw her a bone and be just a bit nicer to her. Then you will be ” busy” again, but sweet about it. the fact that you are “just a bit nicer” than the jerk in rebuffing her attention will make her think of you as “sweet”. The fact that she has competition for your attention, wil make you a challenge.

Yes, you will be “playing games” but that is the only thing a girl like this will respond to. So you have to ask yourself, do you want the girl enough to play games for her?

If the answer is “no” then it is time to move on..
Love,
Joan

Is he the one?

Question
I’m sure you get these in your free psychi questions all the time. Women who beg for you to help figure out their life problems. Well to be honest, I don’t want you to figure out all of my problems.just one. You see, I’ve had my run with love a few times, but never got it right. Can you tell me, am I with the one who is right for me, or is he still out there? Its really important for me to find out. I don’t want to waste my life. So please, help.

Answer. If you are still young, then often your partners are not completely mature when it comes to relationships, is not as much as you being with the one, but being with the one who is ready.

I am going to suggest that you change something in your approach to relationships. Have you been pushing for a commitment too soon, being needy by calling or texing a lot.
The best way to find the one is to get involved in your “own thing” and allow them to pursue you, not the other way around.
The point here is that if you wait around for him to purpose, it may never happen. However, if he has to purpose to keep you and you have your own thing that puts you in situations where you MIGHT meet other guys, he is less likely to take you for granted and more likely to feel he needs to make a commitment to hang on to you.
Girls, do not be the one hanging on to the guys, let them chase you and you will find the one:)

My ex says he does not love me but still wants to see me

Here is a question I see often in my free psychic reading email.
Q
My boyfriend and I recently broke up because he said didn’t feel he was in love with me anymore and didn’t see a long term future together. We have still being seeing each other occasionally and he is still very loving and affectionate towards me.We are still having sex. Does he think he has made a mistake and will he change his mind about us? Please give me your psychic advice as to what I should do.

A
Here is the thing. You must change something in the dynamic of the relationship for him to love you. You have been giving, accommodating and basically doing everything you could to make him love you. It did not work. Now I suggest that you hide your true feelings and become more of a challenge to him. Start to think about what is right for YOU. Start to do things on your own without him and let him know about it when he calls you. Do not call him or appear to chase, pursue, or in any other way seek out contact or his companionship first. Wait for him to call or text you.
He wants the thrill of feeling he is chasing a woman. He does not have to chase you, he knows he has you so his male instinct of the excitement of pursuit is not being triggered. There is no mystery, no challenge, no excitement in it for him anymore.

He knows he can have sex with you any time he wants so he will. But this will not make him love you. He will simply use you for sex. You must change this dynamic in your relationship with him if you do not want to end up as just a “friend with benefits”
You CAN have him, but not if you keep doing thing they way you have been. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.

If you appear to have more of a life without him, are doing something interesting on your own, something that may make you more interesting to other men, ( and other people) you have just upped your social value and your relationship value. He really does want someone that other men want, as jealousy is often a good thing:) A woman who has her own thing and is not “needy” towards him is more exciting to a man. A woman who has a stronger social circle is more desirable, this is an instinctive thing as humans are pack orientated. We are a social species as our survival was traditionally dependent on the strength of the tribe. If you are entirely dependent on him for companionship you have less value on the instinctual “tribal” level.

You must stop having sex with him. Chances are if you do he will try harder to BE with you as he likes the challenge. If he does not, then it is time to let go. He does not respect you and never will.

So go out and get involved in a project that makes you some new friends. It will make you a more interesting person to all the men in your life.