Question
I have known this guy for a year now just as a friend. Back in march we decided to be friends with benefits. I want more but don’t think he does and I am scared if I ask him what he wants I will lose him all together. So my question to you is what do you see between us staying just friends and at one point it stopping and we go on in life or it becoming a relationship and when you see either coming about?
Answer
The issue here is that he is not ready for a serious commitment and that means that he still wants to be free to date other girls.
Men do not fall in love over sex. They fall in love over time spent together, how you make him feel about himself, if you “get” him and if you add to his life, not draining him. If he feels that the woman respects herself and makes him feel a way about himself that no other woman can,without becoming someone he can disrespect he loves her. IF she does not respect herself the he does not as well and cannot love her. Do you see the dilemma?
He can have sex with you without having to give you the respect of only having sex with you.
Unfortunately, I do not sea lot of respect here.
Time to change your tactic with this guy or you will find yourself used and left for another girl who he has to chase and respect.
I know that you feel that if you stick around and keep things the way they are, he might just fall in love with you, but this is highly unlikely to happen. A man wants someone he has to pursue, to chase and work for. You have given your body away to him and hence, he does not have to work for it, so he values your “friendship” much less.There is not “thrill” in pursuing you. No excitement in wining you over, so he will not think of you as anything more than sex when he wants it.