When you communicate do not ask him if he is ready to commit. Do not mention the relationship at all. simply make small talk about what he is doing in his life and what you are doing in yours, accomplishments at work etc.
He needs to feel safe in communication with you and not guilty nor feel any pressure. This way he will remember how comfortable it was to talk to you and he will start to miss you.
From there, do not expect him to request to see you, this will take time.
You must actually put yourself in the mindset that you will move on and start dating in a couple of months. The logic behind this is that if he senses that you are moving on and that he might loose you for good, he will have to be ready to commit to get you back.
If he does not and trued to make thinsg the “whay they were” without a commitment, state your case clearly and refuse to become intimate with him, walk away until he does commit.
You must not seem needy or desperate in any way. He will love you when he feels that he has to pursue you.
ofetn, men pulled back when the dynamic of the relationship is that you appear to be pursuing him. No matter how subtle, it was there and that is what usualy creates the pull back on his part.
Now he must envision that you will meet men who find you attractive, even though this will be difficult for you, if you want him back you must gear up to play the part.
While you are away from him you might want to do some on line dating even though your heart may not be into it. This is because you MUST keep yourself busy and find your self worth, that other men do in fact find you attractive and project that to him when you speak.
If he was ever serious about you, he is still going to talk to you, even if you start to date, probably more. (unless he is a mamas boy, then he will jst run abck to mom)
It is the though that you will move on and value yourself enough that you will not keep waiting for him forever that will spur his decision to commit to you.
It generally takes three to five months before he comes back, if you play it right. but you must not call, text or email him first. He MUST be the one to make initial contact every time. This can be maddening, but it must be for this to work.
The dynamic of this relationship must change and you have made the right moves to change it so far.
There is a lot of hope here, but you must play the part if you are to win this game.
I have gone through these things with many women and I have a really good track record of success. you CAN have this guy back!!!!! But you must stick to your guns.
It is going to be painful but if you are firm in your resolve, you stand a very good chance of winning him back and with a solid commitment.
He needs time to miss you, to realize that he could loose you ,to see that you value yourself enough to feel you deserve to be treated with respect. He needs to respect you and he will, after he has distanced himself and realized that he really misses you…
He needs to live with the thought that you will be with another man if he does not step up. He occasionally needs to be reminded of the good times when you talk ( he will contact you when he really misses you) and how pleasant it is to talk to you.
He needs time to suffer without you.
That is what it will take for him to come back to you.
The hard part is not doing anything and that is what I am going to suggest until he contacts you. Then be pleasant, display humor and warmth about the past and remind him of the good times. Then let him know about your NEW social life without mentioning dates unless he asks.
Talk about the things you are doing to keep busy. Do not talk about dating right away, just that you have been having fun. Give it about two months before you talk to him about dating and be prepared to hear hs dating stories as well. He will call your bluff, but if he were ever to commit to you he will. If he has not within five months, he never intended to and never will.