Unfortunately nature played a cruel trick on us in order to get us to reproduce and stay with a family. When we fall in love we become “attached” to a person our brain creates chemicals that give us a “high” like a chemical reward for being with this person. Our brain becomes flooded with “love” chemicals. In brain scans these chemicals work on the part of the brain, in the exact same way, as a cocaine addicts does when they are on their favorite drug ( cocaine). Hence, we actually become addicted to that person. When that person pulls away, our brains stop producing these chemicals and we go through an actual chemical withdrawal. It hurts!!!Unfortunately we have no control over being able to emotionally let go of this person and only time will heal this but the good news is
but the good news is that it does heal with time.So when those who do not understand tell us to “get over it” they are actually being insensitive as we are not in control of this process and cannot get over it until time has allowed our brain chemicals to even out just as it does with any drug addict.The hard part is that when we are attached to a person often we can actually “feel” them as we often have a psychic connection to those we have close relationships with. This makes it even more difficult to heal.Studies have shown that distracting your brain, by counting backwards by a multiple of seven ( not easy to do, but that is the point) every time you think of your ex, can help train your brain to let go. Or if you do not like that then simply try focusing on a difficult task every time your ex enters your head. However, I am not so sure myself that this will work when fresh out of a breakup.Sometimes we are not sure that it really is over or if we are just on a break;Joan can help you understand what is going on with your ex and if there is hope.