Many guys are going to balk at the first sign of your needing a commitment. Particularly if you push him for one. This puts a lot of women in a difficult position. What to do when you really want one ?
Well first of all he is going to see you as more desirable if you are not so easy for him to have. He must work for it. He WANTS to have to work for it. He needs the excitement of a chase.
But how do you get him to the point where he wants to work for it?
Through his emotions. You start by making him feel special. You find things that flatter him, things that you actually like about him. That’s right girls, the way to a mans heart is through his ego. If you let him know what is special about him without actually pursuing him, he will want to spend more time with you.
But here is the thing, you must never actually pursue him. Nope never initiate texts or phone calls, let him call you. If you have made him feel special in a way that he believes you alone can understand, then he will want to spend more time with you.
If you have built a relationship with him in which he spends time with you, then he already enjoys the friendship he feels for you. That is how a guy bonds. Many women think it is the sex that bonds a man to a woman. Actually it is often the other way around. A man may really like the sex he has with you, but if he does not enjoy your company, he can have sex with you and still not be even slightly interested in a commitment.
A guy will commit when he is a bit uncomfortable about there being competition for your attention and he really wants your attention because you make him feel special. Because you “get” him. However, getting him also means giving him his space when he needs it.
It is also helpful not be so easy for him to be with WHENEVER he wants. You need to leave a little mystery. Do not answer or respond to his calls and messages right away. Have a few times when you cannot meet with him and do not explain why. Just as it drives you crazy when he does this. It will also eventually cause him to want to spend more time with you as well, IF you have made him feel like you are the only one who understands just how really special he is.
Let him wonder and work for your attention. He needs that rush that comes from having to win you over. If you make it too easy for him you will deny him this.
When a guy does not want to commit, simply say “OK, well then I need to get on with my life, so I need to date other guys.” Do not try to convince him why he needs to be with you. Just let go and allow him to have the time to miss you are feel what life is like without you.
This may be the hardest thing you ever do, but if he is really in love with you, he will come rushing back so as not to loose you. He will also respect you for not being a pushover. Regardless of what you may think, he really doesn’t want a girl who is there at his every whim, who does everything to please him all the time. He will actually respect a girl who takes care of herself first.
Why? You ask. Because, biologically, a woman who takes care of herself will be able to take better care of his children. Most guys do not know this consciously but they will almost always react in the same way towards a girl who appears to be just a bit self sufficient and takes care of her needs first. He will show less respect to a girl who will do anything for him without receiving from him first. The “pushover” girl will not take care of his children as well. He may not consciously think this, but his instincts will react in this way.
So when he does not give you the commitment you want, go out and look out for your own best interest without him. The guy who comes chasing after you, is the one who will respect you in the long run. The guy you keep chasing after is the one you will most likely loose in the long run.
So girls, when it comes to having a solid relationship, think about what is best for you before you try to do what you feel is best for him. As strange as it sounds, the girl he has to chase and work for, is the one who will win his attention. It is simply the way nature made him.