Question
My boyfriend constantly does this push and pull on and off thing . He constantly needs reassurance about how I felt about him and if i don’t say what he wanted to hear he becomes distant, starts an argument, and breaks up with me. A couple of days later he will come back and say he missed me he wants to be with and I take him back. which I do because I do love him. About 2 weeks ago he ended up telling me he was in love me and than less than a week later started acting distant and broke up with me saying that me not telling him i loved him back was the nail in the coffin….but i did say it back. Is he just using that as an excuse to maybe start seeing someone else or will he eventually man up, contact me,and tell me how he feels? Or does he want me to chase him because i honestly am not doing that. Please help! Please answer my free psychic question.
Answer.
Chasing him is not the answer. The issue is that he is a narcissist. He does this to feel his is in control of you. Only problem is that these types of relationships often involve the guy becoming physically abusive as well. It gives him a feeling of power and control.
He is setting you up to be there anytime he wants while he looks for another victim to abuse and have sex with whenever he wants…
This guy is conflicted. The only thing you can do is wait him out, enjoy the good moments and know that he is going to throw a tantrum that has nothing to do with anything you did or didn’t said, but more about his insecurity bubbling up..
Then when he breaks up with you, just wait him out again, knowing that he will come back..
It is time to face the face that he may not ever change this sort of behavior as his insecurities that lead to his need to abuse hence giving him a feeling or power, will likely get the best of him and he may never learn how to love himself or anyone else. The issue here is that he is holding you emotional hostage to his own issues that may never change. So you might want to ask yourself, can you really live with this kind of behavior if it never changes?
He is also practicing to cheat on you from time to time.