just found out the guy I am in love with does not love me. And 2 years ago the guy I was in a 1 year and 6 months relationship dumped me cause he didn’t love me. This has left a hole in my heart even though this was far ago. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep asking if their is anything wrong with me. I also have difficulty allowing men to approach me because of this.
nswer.
There is a simple explanation as well as resolution to your problem with men. You see guys have an instinct to chase. As soon as the woman starts to chase them they back off. You probably started to call, text him a lot before he contacted you first.. This makes you look needy and he lost interest. Never, never, text call or email a guy a lot asking when you are going to see him. This bugs guys and they fall out of love with you. also when a guy starts to feel drained, he will pull back. I fear that it is your insecurity that you project, your need for love and reassurance that could be the issue here.
All you have to do is to appear independent and have backup plans like friends to go out with and a place where you can go so you will not seem like he is your only world. Guys will tell you that they want you to be with only them in the beginning, and they will even mean it at the time. But if they do have to work for your attention, if you do not appear to have anything in your life going on other than them, then you do not seem to be as exciting nor have the ability to bring anything into the relationship other than needing from them and that can be perceived as draining on a guy. You must have more going on in your social life than them.
So be friendly and confidant when you meet the guy, but have a project or charity or some other social activity in your life that fills in the spaces when he is not with you so he can have some space as well. Your relationships will turn out so much better this way.
Remember that neediness equals draining to him. So focus on independence and you will find love comes a lot easier to you.