I get many questions about relationships that started out with guy chasing like crazy, only to flip flop into the guy not putting much effort into the relationship anymore, in my free psychic question email..
Question
I just have a question for you about my relationship. I have been seeing a man for 3 months and we have been official since December as he wanted to get into a relationship. I do really like this man, but I sometimes feel that he doesn’t put any effort into the relationship and that he isn’t as keen on me as he once was. I don’t know if I am being paranoid or not to be honest but I just want a open honest and trusting relationship.
I would just really appreciate some guidance as I just feel very lost and hate feeling this way. I do have feelings for him and they seem to be getting stronger. I would hope that we would have a future together but I’m just wondering is the relationship going to grow.
Answer
You are putting more effort into the relationship so he doesn’t have to. You must change the dynamic by not being the one to call or text first to initiate get together..
He cares for you, but you are not putting him in the position so he has to chase. Men actually LIKE to chase.. So stop calling or texting him first. He will be slow to respond initially, until he gets that he may loose you if he does not make the effort.
When he gets it, he will do a complete 180 and start to pursue you again.
you see, he was pursuing you in the beginning not only because he LIKED you, but because he liked chasing you. Now you are the one chasing him.. He sees no challenge and hence the excitement is not longer there..
I am going to suggest that you find an activity outside of the relationship that you enjoy that involves other people. Then stop calling and texting him first. Wait for him to NOTICE that you are not the first one to make contact. When he finally calls to say “what’s up”?
Tell him , in an excited manner about this new thing you are doing. Wait for him to ask if there any other men involved.. If he doesn’t, then wait for him to ask to see you and you do get together, talk excitedly about the new friends you have made in this new project. He will suddenly take more of an interest in you….
Deep down, most men do not want a needy woman who only has them ( the guy) as they sole companionship. They want a woman who has her own thing, who they have to win, to woo and who they have to pursue. Men LIKE to pursue… If you become whiny, needy or demanding, you will see your guy pull away… If you appear to be independent, your guy will suddenly start to value you more. If he has to invest more of his time in the relationship by calling you to make plans or check YOUR schedule, he will value the relationship more. Most men value what they have to work for . If it is too easy or too demanding, they tend to loose interest..
So girls go out and find something outside the relationship that makes you happy. It will secretly make him happy to. Even if it makes him a little jealous…